Backstabbing ??? GUILTY PLEASURE till now :(

I'm not backstabbing you guys (though you think so) I've changed my mine. I just don't want to get KARMA by bullying her anymore. I've been bullying a person since the sixth grade. I bullied a guy in grade six because he's so gay, acting so girly. I always bullied him by making fun of him, shouting beside his ears and etc( i don't wanna talk about it right now).

I'm not a perfect angel okay??? I do till now a bit struggle with my own identity. After I make that promise, I kept telling jokes about her and telling how lame her brother was. I felt so terrible and yet like you guys I'm enjoying it. LISTEN to me, that GUILTY PLEASURE that I told you was the day I'm making decision to be a good person and I hope a got a light from it but it's just so hard not to bully her because, yeah she's not in our school anymore.

I know she's a good pretender, a gold digger actually, she's always cry but in the same time she didn't wanna ask for some help and she's always count on you guys but you guys can't count on her back. I know she told that the boys are hell. And she's made us feel terrible about her. But why don't we just forgive her???

And not talking about her. Work with me guys. I can't do it alone. I keep making fun of her brother when you did it. Because it so funny, and plus I'm enjoying it till now. But I'm afraid of KARMA guys. Do we even want to be right in her place???NOPE right????

I'm not backstabbing you cause at the first I'm on with you guys, you rocks, yeah doing the sin is fun but then God told me " this is not right !" "you worship me, but you killing her slowly" " she's my creation like you." " treat her like the way you wanna be treated.

At that day, I got lightning struck and I made my guilty pleasure but then I realize I can't do this by my own. It's not to late to go back. I love you guys so much, but she need us to stop doing it (bullying by words).

I did this because I love you guys, c'mon we've been together since the first grade. I saw a light in you guys. I don't want we getting KARMA so I write this in my blog.

You know I wrote GUILTY PLEASURE because I was so upset with you guys. We act like we've never been taught about socialize. Although I agreed she's bad.

GIve her a chance to live her life amd let just leave her with her own way, it'll be better if we go to the mall and when we met her, act like an old friend.

I don't wanna have an enemy... YOu gotta know that I love ya' guys though you hate me. This is for our own good.
As soon as you read this, talk to me privately at school guys. I'm so sorry at first, yeah that's not enough. BUt please just ....
HELP ME !